Jesus is Everywhere

I just heard about a vine growing up a telephone pole that looks like a crucifix. Jesus sure has some strange ways of letting us know He's around.

I'll grant that some of the 'appearances' look pretty good. I've seen at least...um...three in my life. The remaining hundred-thousand or so are a different story. Maybe I just don't have the imagination required to visualize these things.

My wife and I went to New Orleans two years after hurricane Katrina hit. We were digging a lifetime of ruined clothes, furniture and other possessions out of a house that was flooded to the roof when we pulled out a piece of paneling and noticed the mold on it looked somewhat like a face. I thought it was Jesus, but my wife said it looked like Frank Zappa. I think she was right.

The perception of a person or thing in a vague or random image is called pareidolia, like when you see clouds that look somewhat like a bear. The most commonly observed images are of religious figures, with Jesus topping the list.

Being a follower of Christ, I should probably have some kind of extra perception powers that allow me to clearly see Jesus in all the places that other people see him. Unfortunately, I don't. I'm not sure if it's because I'm not on the right spiritual level or if it's because of my astigmatism.

Anyway, I present for your consideration, several photos that show Jesus appearing in a variety of places. At the end I will explain what we can learn from them.


This is supposed to be a crucifix. Not just the cross, the whole crucifix.

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This is Jesus in a Jolly Rancher.

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This is Jesus in a giant piece of granite. He appears to be flipping somebody off. Strange.

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This is Jesus in a stain on a garage floor.

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This is on a dumpster door. He seems to be wearing either a helmet or a KFC bucket.

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This is Jesus' face in some goo on a pipe.

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This is wood paneling. I'm not sure if it's Jesus or a Proboscis Monkey.

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This is Jesus in some wall paper ‒ looks a little chunky.

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This is Jesus in the rings of a tree ‒ wielding large knives.

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This is the one-eyed Jesus in a tree.

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This photo was taken on a subway. Jesus appears to be missing part of his face. Frankly, it scares the crap out of me.

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This is the first of a few pictures where I just can't see him.

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Yes, I see the loop. No, I don't see Jesus' head, body or anything else.

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This is a door. I think I see something with the lower jaw of the Predator and the eyes of Bill the Cat.

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So, what can we learn from these appearances? Three very specific things:

1. Jesus Likes to Appear in Sludge and Filth ‒ Grease and sludge are probably easier to work with than trees and concrete.
   
   
2. Jesus Isn't Very Happy ‒ He has a sad look most of the time. Maybe He's bummed that the only time some people pay attention to Him is when He warps a carrot into a gnarly shape that could be construed as a crucifix when viewed at the proper angle and in the proper lighting.
   
   
3. Jesus is Horribly Disfigured ‒ The Bible says there wasn't anything unusual about him that anyone would know he was the Son of God, but I don't recall anything about birth defects or horrible accidents.

I know these appearances inspire a lot of people. There is a shrine set up around a tree in a neighboring city because people swear there is an image of Mary on it. I suppose if it gets people thinking about their faith it could be a good thing. On the other hand, I think Jesus would rather have people read the Biblical accounts of what he said and did ‒ you'll find a much more accurate picture of Him there than on a piece of toast.

(Thanks to StuffThatLooksLikeJesus.com for the photos.)